I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
