just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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