so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
