I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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