At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
