the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
