Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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