My hand turned me down
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
