she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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