until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
