based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
