can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
no you cant smoke seaweed
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
