I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize