I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
