So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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