Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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