I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
