I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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