i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
