just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Randomize
