stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
