He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
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