I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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