FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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