He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
