Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
