You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
