gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
