operation have a gay friend backfired
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
