dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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