The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Did you just see the Batmobile???
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Randomize
