We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
