i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize