At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize