suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
