we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Randomize
