no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Just high enough for therapy.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I believe in your delicious
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
