Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
is this the sara with the beer cane?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
