foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
