You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Ladies don't puke and tell
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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