I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
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Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
