He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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