I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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