nut hugger
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
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