Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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