haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
