The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize