the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I can't turn off my feet"
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize