2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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