white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
