I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Randomize
