walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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