I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
