he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
