dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
