i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
