Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
All the doctor said was why
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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