found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
