i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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