dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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